Uncle Qrow's Bedtime Story
by SilentVex
Summary: When his sweet little niece is in dire need of a babysitter, of course Qrow Branwen would offer his services. Unfortunately he never considered what that might entail.


**Author's Notes: Hey hey hey people, Vex here with another even-more-rare one-shot story!**

 **Basically, now that I've started university for creative writing I can actually write fanfiction and earn a degree for it! This is pretty much a dream situation for me because I can hopefully get more back into it for realsies this time. This particular story is just a simple thing between Qrow and a young Ruby. Hope you all enjoy and hope even more to get back to posting things here more regularly in the future.**

 **\- Vex out!**

* * *

 **Uncle Qrow's Bedtime Story**

* * *

The man took a deep swig from his flask and rustled the plastic packet sat on the table. Pulling out a small cookie he placed it on the table and pushed it across from him, into the waiting grasp of a smaller hand. He attempted yet again to read the essay being displayed on the scroll in his hands - the headmaster had been getting on his case for all the practical assessments he always judged his classes on - this time to the sound of crumbly crunches. The clock on the wall rang, signalling the hour of ten. ''You ready to sleep yet?'' Qrow asked.

''Nope.''

''When do you think you will be?''

''No idea.'' The girl raised the cookie back to her mouth, chewing in silence, her big, gleaming silver eyes locked on her uncle as her other hand scribbled with a crayon with that perpetual look of apathy on her face.

* * *

'' _You sure you'll be okay looking after Ruby?''_

'' _Yeah, of course.''_

 _Taiyang scratched his blonde hair. ''I'm sorry about this. It's just she said she wanted to stay home and with you and –''_

'' _Hey, its fine – I said I was all for it didn't I? Don't worry, you just go and let me worry about Ruby. You enjoy your time off, you've earned it.''_

'' _Thank you, Qrow. Really.'' Tai looked down to the girl at his side. ''You ready to go, sweetie?''_

'' _Yeah, Dad,'' Yang smiled. Turning to her uncle however she let this smile drop. ''You better take care of Ruby or else I'mma beat you up!''_

 _Qrow laughed at the innate attitude of a big sister and dropped to one knee. ''I'd like to see you try, Goldilocks.'' He poked her on the forehead and returned her menacing glower. He looked back up to her father. ''You can count on me.''_

* * *

Qrow stared back at his younger niece, wondering just how much damage an eight year old's punches could do. Not much, surely. ''Alright kid, what do you want?'' She tilted her head slightly. ''What will it take to make you sleep?''

''Story,'' she said.

''A story,'' he repeated.

''Yup.'' She paused. ''And a cookie.''

''A bedtime story and another cookie. Anyth –''

''And milk,'' she added quickly.

''Done.''

Qrow was quick to end negotiations there, for fear of her demands escalating further. He left to collect the girl's demands. Qrow's essays and Ruby's drawings were left abandoned and they relocated to her room, him pulling up a chair as she slipped under the covers.

''So, what kind of story do you want?''

''A cool one.''

''Gonna have to be a little more specific, Rubes.''

The girl stared off into an infinite abyss of possibilities as she sipped her milk. ''Mom would tell me stories about heroes.''

''Heroes?''

''Yup.''

''Any in particular?''

''She just made it up.''

''Right.''

Qrow had no idea how she had managed bedtimes every night.

''Once upon a time...'' he started there were three men: a wimp, an innkeeper, and an asshole.''

''What's an asshole?'' Ruby asked.

Qrow paused, realizing what he just said to his six year old niece. ''It's the place you poop from.'' Saved it.

''Oooooh… so a butt?''

''Yeah, a butt.'' _Totally saved it._

''How can a person be a butt?''

Or maybe not as saved as he thought. ''Look, who's the one telling the story here? Just trust me, he's not a nice guy.''

''Right… so why is he a butt?''

''He isn't an actual butt, Ruby! He…'' Qrow paused again. ''His head is shaped like two big butt cheeks.''

The girl gave a sagely nod. ''He's a butthead.''

''Exactly. Okay, so the wimp is a guy who-''

''Can he be a huntsman?''

''Sure, whatever, he's a huntsman...'' Qrow stopped and reached for his flask, mentally cursing when he realized it had been left with his scroll in the other room. He considered going to get it but, with a sigh, decided to get the story done with.

''So the Wimpy Huntsman is told to go to a small village on the outskirts of the kingdom somewhere which has been having some trouble with Beowolves lately. However, he could do nothing to fight off the Beowolves. He was too scared. The Wimpy Huntsman was always used to working with other people, and was too afraid of fighting them by himself. To make sure the problem was solved, the king also sent the… Butthead Huntsman to help. When he arrived the Wimpy Huntsman was so happy and said they should work together to defeat the Beowolves, but the Butthead wouldn't hear of it. 'The day I work with you is the day I throw my sword in and work on a farm!' the Butthead said. He then punched the Wimp, knocking him out cold.''

''That's not very nice.''

''I know.'' Qrow nodded, feeling something in his mind starting to warm to the tale he had been coerced into weaving.

''So the Wimp woke up to find himself in a warm bed. Apparently the local innkeeper, a friend he had made in his time in the village, had come across him in the street and dragged him back. 'Are you okay?' the innkeeper asked. The Wimpy Huntsman said he was and thanked the innkeeper for helping him. He then asked where the Butthead Huntsman had gone. ''Oh, him? He said that he was going to fight the Beowolves.'"

''The Wimpy Huntsman jumped out of bed in a panic. 'He can't do that! There are too many to take on by himself! He'll be eaten for sure!'''

'''We tried to tell him that but he wouldn't listen,' the Innkeeper replied.''

''Without saying a word the Wimpy Huntsman ran out, in too much of a hurry to put on his armour. Luckily he was smart enough to pick up his sword and then continued out of the village and towards the Beowolves' hideout. When he got there he had found the Butthead Huntsman had defeated most of the Beowolves, but was tired and unable to keep fighting. Just as he was about to be gobbled up by the Alpha Beowolf, the Wimpy Huntsman leapt in, pushing it back.''

At this point Ruby leaned forward, as if being drawn into the spectacle that he was creating for her. Maybe he had a knack for storytelling after all.

'''What are you doing here?' the Butthead Huntsman asked.

''The Wimpy Huntsman did not reply. To be honest, he was too terrified to speak. His knees shook and he began to sweat. But he had no choice. He had to fight. The Beowolves jumped forward to attack him. One, two and then three. Each one he struck back at with his sword, knocking them away until there was only him and the Alpha Beowolf left. It snarled and growled, snapping its jaws at him as if to scare him away. But no matter how much his legs shook, the Wimpy Huntsman stood his ground and wouldn't run away. He refused to be defeated. Seeing this, the Alpha Beowolf eventually backed away, growling at its fallen pack. Those that could still stand did, and limped over to their leader.''

''The Wimpy Huntsman prepared to be attacked again, but to his surprise the Alpha Beowolf turned and walked away, followed closely by its pack until they were out of sight. The Wimpy Huntsman was frozen in place, afraid the Beowolves would come back. It wasn't until the Butthead Huntsman got up and began walking away without a word that he realized it: he had won.''

''That night the village threw a huge party for the huntsmen who had gotten rid of the Beowolves. But as the Wimpy Huntsman looked around he realized that he couldn't see the Butthead Huntsman anywhere. Several hours later he found the Butthead on the edge of the village, slowly riding away on his horse. 'Hey, where are you going?' the Wimpy Huntsman asked.''

''The Butthead turned back to him. 'Home,' he replied. He seemed angry.''

'''But why?' the Wimpy Huntsman asked. 'They're throwing a party for us! At least stay until it's over.'''

'''Why should I? This party is for you, not me.''' And without another word, the Butthead Huntsman rode off, leaving the Wimpy Huntsman to wonder what he had meant.''

''So what did he mean?'' Ruby asked.

Qrow blinked. It took him a moment to register the question, and take notice of the wide pair of silver eyes twinkling with curiosity. ''Without the Wimp he would have been eaten. He wanted to do it alone but had to be saved. Even though they beat the wolves he still felt like he lost.''

Ruby's mouth opened into a small circle. ''So… is this a happy ending?''

''I guess… kinda. You see, Ruby, the truth is that even if a person does a good thing – saves the day, becomes a hero – people won't always thank him for it. Some people might even hate him for it. And that's because there's a lot of… buttheads in the world. But that doesn't change the fact that there need to be heroes. People who can do what needs to be done. Who will protect all the innkeepers and other villagers that need help.''

''A hero like Mom?''

He offered her a small smile. ''Yeah, kiddo, just like your mom.''

''When I'm older I want to be just like her.''

''I know, kiddo. I know.'' He reached out and patted Ruby's head. ''You know though, there is a way you can help me out right now.''

She leaned in slightly, eyes widening a fraction. ''How?''

''Go to sleep. I have work to do and I can't keep getting distracted by a squirt like you.''

She blinked once, twice, and then broke out a small shine of a smile. ''Okay.'' She slipped down deeper under her blanket and planted her head firmly against the pillow, casting a sideways gaze up at him. ''Thanks for the story, Uncle Qrow.''

He reached down and ruffled her short mess of hair. ''No problem kid. Just call if you need anything okay?'' He stood to leave but halted at the feeling of something tugging at the baggy hem of his shirt. He smiled to himself before turning back around and sitting once more, taking the hand that had denied his leave. He stayed still until the waves of physical and mental fatigue finally overcame his niece and her grip slackened. He picked up the now-empty milk glass and left a single cookie on the bedside table before excusing himself finally.

Moving back into the dining room he stared down the scroll, displaying a standby screen stained with pixels of one student's half-correct babble, when from the corner of his eye a sheet of paper drew his attention. It lay where it had just under an hour ago when they had vacated the room, framed by worn-down crayons of various colours.

He picked up the sheet of paper.

Two girls stood in the centre, hands linked together. The girl on the left had reddish black hair, the one on the right, slightly taller, had long blonde hair. To the right of the latter was a man with matching blonde hair to his elder daughter. To the left of the shorter girl was a woman, with matching hair. She held hands with the girl and another man on the left to her, with hair of pure black. Every person she had drawn stared out from the page with beaming toothless smiles on their faces.

Qrow scanned the picture as minutes passed. He breathed a single, hollow slip of a laugh. ''Sweet kid,'' he said, putting the picture down once more.


End file.
